So she thought marriage was a good idea. My Ex Broke Up With Me But She Stalks My Instagram. If not, wendy is right and you need to find a man whose life matches what you want. I personally couldnt live with in laws we do it in my culture and Ive seen too much drama from it. As time goes on you think about her less and less. Chances are you were focused on something that wasnt her, whether thats school, a new job/business, or some kind of personal issue. LW2: Yeah, this sounds like too much. Were only human. Some of the responses were pretty telling. The pain you're feeling now is not as great as the pain she's feeling. You might have some cognitive dissonance because: You probably describe yourself as a high-energy, motivated guy who gets bored easily. These things matter but whats more important is that she FEELS like you are committed. Are you prepared for that? As a result, her walls will come down and she will believe that giving you another chance is actually something that she really wants to do. You might also feel like you deserve to be treated better and you do. Id rather be alone again, then waste my precious time and energy on someone that doesnt see me valuable to hold those same values. She reminds me of me and as a loving woman that wants a future holds on to that when they find their other half, which is rare to find these days, especially now that Im 41 and hes 46. You should avoid putting pressure on your girlfriend or wife-to-be. ), maybe somewhere with an in-law suite so that way she has her own space, your boyfriend feels like he has taken care of her, and you can have your own area to which she doesnt have a key. April 30, 2020, 7:36 pm. Your priority is your daughter not this relationship. If you dont propose to her, she might be tempted to leave you for another man. Well, if you're really looking for answers on why a woman leaves the man she loves, read the list below carefully: 1. Sea Witch The fact that he is helping his grandma shows he has good character and values. It means clearly communicating your intents and plans, and then delivering on what youve promised so she feels like a priority instead of an option. She probably endured shame and her own self-loathing during this long wait. she broke up with me a week later she called and we decided to work it out however, i came on to strong for her at tthe momenet and blew, he texted me a few days later saying she . After apologizing, you have to transition to forgiveness, so she can drop her guard and truly open back up to you. On the other hand, shes a more laid-back, take it easy type girl. I hope you can help enlighten me and help me slowly accept reality. Shes lived with her biological clock. But 10 months just isnt long enough to buy property with someone. Or are you more afraid of losing the status quo? Login first He looks at his grandmother as a martyr since his mother (the grandmothers daughter) was never home and his grandmother would watch him as a child. IF you still dont know, it means you are not ready to marry anyone and let that woman go. She could live with her Dad or another family member after all. We had MANY conversations where I tried to explain myself (which grew more painful every time) and he would cry and act like he understood, and thennothing would change. CinderALLIE You still want to string her along. Shes hoped and hoped for a long time- and put off leaving because she loved you that much. Consistency wins with women and it goes hand in hand with commitment. A I'm Coach Jack, the owner and founder of Men's Breakup. I am now retraining and working part-time.Yes, I know: you probably think I am a walking red flag.Anyway, the woman, who is actually successful and has her own apartment, still wanted to be with me. She will feel like she might have even made a mistake in getting into a relationship with him in the first place, if thats who he really is as a person underneath or when challenged. In my opinion, you dodged a bullet. Watch a secret video by Dan Bacon where he reveals the fastest way to get your ex back. The last thing you need to do is to make her feel ill. Hell, looking at the first letter, maybe breaking up with him will be the only way to get him to realize something (/sarcasm)! his grandmother has lived a life relying on other people . Which Is Better? "It made me finally confront it," Amber explains. But you never changed. Frankly, our society shames men for not growing up and settling down when they arent experienced and arent ready to commit to one woman. I believe you know that, and that is the reason you wrote for advice. Yet, rather than make a woman happy that she is finally getting what she wanted from him, she feels even more turned off and annoyed with him. He always said he wanted to marry me. Take this as a lesson learned, and try and not make the same mistakes next time you date someone. When you dont, youre just asking for problems. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Because you think he should be different? Lets back to the simple stuff about you getting her back. Of course, if youve already offered your commitment to her by begging and pleading in a desperate way, dont worry about it. Now, I understand that I did this because i was afraid of marriage. Its too soon to buy property with your boyfriend. If you didnt do that, she might leave you and find another man. Personally, I wanted to marry my girlfriend very much from year 1. Do not move your daughter into any situation about which you have reservations. Take your time and think carefully. For years, she dreamed of marrying you. I know it will be up to her if she will come back. I urge you, wake the fuck up. Her friends and family might tell you youre a bad guy because you didnt realize what you had. But (and this is a big but) before you get bent out of shape and start trying to get her back. If you dont want Grandma around, find someone else. Its your life, not theirs. And now, not only is she missing you not only has she let go of you and your relationship, but also she has let go of a dream she held close probably the dream she has held tightest for years, and its an incredibly transformative yet difficult thing to let go of a dream. In other words, if you were still together, you would laugh off her asking once again to get married because heck, the relationship was working just fine for *you*. Grannys Got to Go. Well, thats still possible for us. What is your hurry!? Wilson recently spoke with Drew Barrymore during an episode of her daytime talk show and revealed that she actually called Disney CEO Bob Iger for permission to propose inside the iconic theme park. LW2) What is the problem with the Grandmother exactly cause it sounds like you are just pissed he spends money he works for on her and you want him to spend on you and a house for your daughter to live in. When you start behaving in the ways that attracted her to you in the first place (e.g. First youll go an hour without thinking of her, then hours plural, and finally an entire afternoon will pass without giving her a thought. All rights reserved. Required fields are marked *. This can be a good way to get to know your woman and her family. Its multiple small reasons. A narcissistic person's "love pattern" will generally predict how they will behave in a relationship. It has been my first long-term relationship. Honestly though, this guy sounds like he isnt willing to set a boundary with granny. If your girlfriend has left you because you didnt propose to her, dont get discouraged. Add your answer to this question! If your girlfriend doesnt forgive you for making mistakes in the relationship, then youre stuck. And just before our breakup, when I brought up all the times I had told him I needed more communication and contact from him, he said, well, I didnt know how serious you were. the 6 major reasons women leave relationships, more about how I prefer to date women here, she needs to chase you if you want her back, Shes not as hot as the girls you are used to or the girls you are surrounded by, Youre in a long-distance relationship (are you insane), Caught up in day-to-day living a stressful job, starting a new business, etc, You THINK you want to be sexually or emotionally monogamous when you really dont (social programming), Blow her phone up and start calling her left and right, Clearing your schedule to spend time with her, Stop acting a way you want to act just because she didnt like it. She may be stepgran so its important for people to become comfortable. She will see her feelings for you as being a sign that you and her arent meant to remain broke up. It may even lead to a marriage that doesnt last. It was to be expected if you reject a commitment during 9 years. April 6, 2021, 12:46 pm. Probably for the first time in nine and a half years with your girlfriend, SHE is the one saying, Nah, Im good. And, yes, it is unstable because he has a long-term family situation that you want to disrupt, and your daughter will have to move out of her home. What Now? Maybe thats the ideal amount of communication for some people, but I need more than that. LW2: Please dont move in with a man youve only dated for 10 months. She takes care of you, and shes always there while youve got your sights set off on the horizon. Perhaps I should have taken the inability to work through that in Year 1-3 as enough of a sign and bailed, but I very much wanted to marry her, so I stuck it out hoping things would change. What I find so interesting is that with the right attitude the grandmother thing could be amazing. I didn't appreciate the pressure of this but didn't wanna tell Halle that I couldn't see myself getting married ever. If you dont consider WHY you didnt want to commit, you are going to make the same fucking mistake all over again! Then again, she may have been so preoccupied with a proposal that she left you to pursue other options. I need to end 2 years invested before it becomes over 9 years, which I see inevitable. The third and final time is when she came back as Forrest was cutting grass. Think about how you felt BEFORE she dumped your ass. There was a reason you werent committed to her in the way she wanted you to be committed to her. He's the man of your dreams and he says you are the woman of his. Im not blaming you here: nobody should agree to anything they dont want. You still love her, of course, but there are other things on your mind. April 30, 2020, 1:57 pm. For example: If your girlfriend was attracted to you initially because of your sense of humor, bring that out every time you interact with her. I said that I don't want marriage instead I want to stay with her in a live-in relationship. Don't have an account? To the girl who didn't get the engagement you were expecting, this is what you need to do to finally get a commitment You tried not to get your hopes up, but deep down you feel like it is time. Just something to think about. Judge Clifton Newman sentenced disgraced South Carolina attorney Alex Murdaugh to two life sentences after a jury found him guilty of murdering his wife and son in June 2021. He didn't buy the rings until a week before the wedding. Wendy nailed it with this response. Would finally realize what he lost. Do you remember how you used to tell me that you wanted to grow old with me? If your woman left you because you didnt propose, dont feel bad. It's not because she didn't picture a future with you. When I Asked Her For Another Chance, She Said That it Was Too Late. Dont let someone who isnt you tell you how to live your life. And now your bruised ego wants her back so you can feel better (among other things). She may have had doubts about your feelings or felt unloved. She may not have been as emotionally invested in the proposal as you thought. I think if you had truly wanted to marry her, you would have done it already, and not just when the break up affects you. hes never been romantic before), he just ends up appearing desperate or insincere to her. As each month passed I kept wondering when was he going to propose? You think commitment means having a label on the relationship, pictures on social media of you together, occasionally spending time together, and a few short texts or phone calls once in a while. How could I let this happen? Shes gone faster than your money would be if you bought $DOGE at .73. If she feels like shes a priority, if she feels like you are listening, if she feels like shes appreciated, then youre not going to have major problems. As a result, she will open back up to you and the relationship. Something along the lines of: Holy shit, what have I done? Its an easy mistake to make, and you may have already made it. Yes, it sounds like this is unlikely to work. How exactly will that be beneficial to your daughter to move her into an unstable situation? Is marriage something you really want, or do you just want to do it now to get her back? Youll regret it later. attracted, respectful of you, falling back in love with you) when shes with you or interacting with you, the less shell keep focusing on the fact that you wouldnt commit to her in the past. Despite how attractive she is, youve failed to propose to her yet. male Concentrate on getting back to work. I think a lot of the time people are afraid of the risk of commitment, but they forget that refusing to progress the relationship always carries the risk that the other person will leave, and find someone who wll take that risk.