If you feel like your brain is on overdrive, talk to your physician. The problem with overthinking. In fact, you can use those overthinking moments to question and fact check whats true, so the worried thought doesnt have as much power over you. Im wondering if Im doing the best. It can be difficult at first, but learning to call out your own overthinking can help you learn to replace negative thoughts with more helpful ones. Before you can change your thinking habits, you have to become aware of when youre overthinking. Some people may have the impression that worrying shows that they care about something or prepares them for the worst outcome, so it can easily become a habitalbeit one you can (and should) break. It's tempting because it feels like you're doing something but you risk getting stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and anxiety, she says. can actually decrease overthinking. Remind the person of a funny time or a story in which they were strong or brave.. You Seek Perfection in Everything You Do. You need to realize that no one is thinking of you and analyzing you as much as you worry about. Our partners cannot pay us to guarantee favorable reviews of their products or servicesCombat Your Stress and Anxiety With CalmLearn the life-changing skill of meditation Exclusive music to help you focus and relaxReceive support by practicing mindfulness and being presentAudio programs taught by world-renowned mindfulness expertsAdded benefit of video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching Try Calm On Calm's Website. He is the author of The Anxious Thoughts Workbook and The Negative Thoughts Workbook. Signs of overthinking include: Overthinking can happen for several reasons. Learning how to reframe them in a more positive way can help relieve the tendency to overthink. This is an example of grounding, a technique designed to help a person focus on the present moment to help detract from their feelings of anxiety and distress, Anjani Amladi, M.D., a board-certified adult psychiatrist, tells Bustle. Its an example of a positive affirmation, Myers says, which could help provide hope, perspective, and motivation to push through their anxiety. When you find yourself overthinking, challenge these thoughts. It is also purposeful. Post-Its on my fridge with the same information that is written on my wall calendar and desk calendar. Lauren D. Take notes and write everything down. You might send some of these text messages immediately after learning about a loss. But it is not limited to these conditions. Studies have shown that overthinking elevates your stress levels, reduces your creativity, clouds your judgment, and strips you of your power to make decisions. Overthinking impairs the quality of your sleep too. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Take a moment to practice deep breathing, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself. Overthinking can take a toll on your mood and may make it even more difficult to make decisions in the future. Im afraid Ill forget something that I may need to know. (Hint: seeking reassurance only makes the urge worse long-term, so resist when you can!) Do you have a strong need to know or understand how your mind works? And if you know it will give you more of a clear conscience and unburdened heart, it's worth it. Our editorial content is based on thorough research and guidance from the, Partner Offers feature brands who paid Forbes Health to appear at the top of our list. Its comforting because itll remind the person that you have their back. When someone says something or acts in a way I don't like, I dwell on it. What can you do to overcome your overthinking? experienced journalists and medical experts, Works to support healthy DNA, genes and telomeres which are related to youthful cell function, Added ingredient 2-HOBA supports DNA and cellular component from effects of free radicals, Formulated with powerful antioxidants to promote a healthy immune response, Learn the life-changing skill of meditation, Exclusive music to help you focus and relax, Receive support by practicing mindfulness and being present, Audio programs taught by world-renowned mindfulness experts, Added benefit of video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching. Psychoeducation and therapy. Overthinking is different from problem-solving. Laugh it off. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 15. Fortunately, there's are a few ways to stop overthinking. Do you often look for the deeper meaning or personal significance of your thoughts? You get it. To find out what others dont realize people are doing because theyre overthinking, we consulted with the wonderful overthinkers in our mental health community. Then I feel both relieved and unhappy, because Im stuck with the medical problem, but I avoided what I was anxious about. I relive embarrassing moments in my mind over and over. PostedJanuary 18, 2020 This one serves as a gentle reminder that, even though it never feels like it in the moment, anxious feelings do eventually fade. Recognizing these thoughts as highly implausible will . Imagine a storm is coming. "I remember you speaking so fondly of [Name]. Are you often in a struggle to control your thoughts. 2018. 8 Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Say And What The Mean (Understanding Narcissism.) But a comforting text will serve as a reminder that theyre loved, supported and definitely not alone. Deciding in a split-second makes me uncomfortable, especially because during the time Im forced to choose quickly, I spend the time after my decision mulling over what could have happened instead and how I would have been happier with that other choice. Well, the answer is not as obvious as you might think. Everything. Studies have found that improving your interpersonal skills can help stop you from overthinking since these skills have a large effect on this particular habit. I have notebooks and notes everywhere for everything. Andrea S. If youre an overthinker, what would you add? Or, you might sleep on it and discover that your brain solves the problem for you while youre sleeping. Im afraid Ill forget something that I may need to know. "You're still in my thoughts. After all, how is it possible to come up with a better solution without thinking about it? After a while, you'll begin to notice patterns and recognize overthinking triggers before they happen. Please see our, {{ tocState.toggleTocShowMore ? I get dirty looks from it. One way to avoid overthinking a subject is to incorporate Scripture and prayer into one's thoughts. Get the Forbes Health newsletter for helpful tips, news, product reviews and offers from a name you can trust. I know its tough, but this feeling wont last forever., While you might feel at a loss for how to help, sending a text to someone whos anxious really can make a difference in how they feel. The Anxious Thoughts Workbook: Skills to Overcome the Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts that Drive Anxiety, Obsessions & Depression. 2016;147:170-183. doi:10.1016/j.socscimed.2015.10.044, Michl LC, McLaughlin KA, Shepherd K, Nolen-Hoeksema S. Rumination as a mechanism linking stressful life events to symptoms of depression and anxiety: longitudinal evidence in early adolescents and adults. A lot. Fanyy F. While we work hard to provide accurate and up-to-date information that we think you will find relevant, Forbes Health does not and cannot guarantee that any information provided is complete and makes no representations or warranties in connection thereto, nor to the accuracy or applicability thereof. Overthinking is a prominent characteristic of worry, rumination, and obsessive thinking. Problem-solving consists of thinking about a difficult situation when necessary. If thats the case, let them know youre down to listen, Alex Ly, AMFT, a registered associate marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. If your thoughts are intrusive or highly distressing, or your tendency to ruminate is interfering with your ability to function, I recommend seeking the assistance of a mental health professional, says Dattilo. I'm wondering if people at work like me or if they like the work I do. I need a bottle of water." But when I think too much, it's not enough to just say "I'm overthinking." 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. Receive the help you deserve. When I zone out, its when my mind plays out every possible and even some impossible situations that could happen during the days activities. , I get worried when theres an even slight change in the persons tone and start apologizing for things I mightve done wrong. Information provided on Forbes Health is for educational purposes only. If nothing. I often ask myself "what if" questions. 2013;122(2):339-352. doi:10.1037/a0031994, Thomsen DK, Mehlsen MY, Christensen S, Zachariae R. Ruminationrelationship with negative mood and sleep quality. Your thoughts don't control you. "Saying things that are critical or applying pressure to the person, those sorts of things will often the increase anxiety levels." He strongly cautions against saying things like, "You're. Ready for a few ideas? Ha, yeah, that wouldn't be good. 3) Separate truth from fiction. Pratty says one of the most effective ways of combating anxiety is to practice mindfulness. 'Show more' : 'Show less' }}. Oops! Keep a journal and write down specific moments that cause you to overthink or worry. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. A lot. Ignoring the thought or not taking it seriously could be disastrous. Zoning out. Well, there's two ways to approach this. 2016;12(3):348-362. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118, Michl LC, McLaughlin KA, Shepherd K, Nolen-Hoeksema S. Rumination as a mechanism linking stressful life events to symptoms of depression and anxiety: longitudinal evidence in early adolescents and adults. But for people with anxiety who have the tendency to overthink, everything can feel like a high-pressure situation. Overthinking is also different than self-reflection. Either way, it's apparent that overthinking can cause your mental health to decline. I use it to think about the possible upcoming situations that can happen in my planned day. "You can't outsmart the boss" could be referring to God, fate, or time. This text will be a good way to check in and give them a chance to talk about how it went, Potter says, while also communicating that you care and think about them often. Identify your destructive thought patterns Negative and destructive thought patterns come in many forms - and some are worse than others. Research suggests that overthinking is associated with feelings of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Often, overthinking can occur when you have a lot of spare time on your hands. 1. do YOU think you "overthink" things? Allow yourself as much time as you need to healthfully work through tears or feelings of anger. I have to plan when I wake up, what I wear, if Ill even go, everything. Educate yourself about concepts such as cognitive distortions, maladaptive beliefs, anxiety, trust, etc. It can also lead to relationship anxiety, and behaviors like constantly needing reassurance or attempting to control other people. Start with small talk and gauge common interests. Try not to judge it, and don't put pressure on yourself to repress it. Feeling that close friends want nothing to do with me, or want me out of their life if I have not communicated with them in a while. Kevin M. Sometimes, I can be slow at work because I overthink how to do things the right way. Ill think so much about what could go wrong and irrationally put evidence with my line of thinking I dont realize I do it and I dont mean to. , Write to do lists in great detail, over and over again to make sure I have everything written down. , Lists. If youre prone to overthinking, try the following strategies the next time you find yourself slipping down the slope of rumination. It might feel like youre the only one lying awake at night, dwelling on a decision you made earlier that day or worrying about tomorrows to-do list. In fact, the longer you think about something, the less time and energy you have to take productive action. It can also play a role in mental health issues like anxiety and depression, so it is important to find ways to break out of such destructive thought patterns. This text will remind them youre available to listen judgment-free, Donna T. Novak, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist, tells Bustle, as well as that its OK to feel anxious, especially when tough things are happening outside their control. It appears you entered an invalid email. Many of these are caused by cognitive distortions, which are negative or distorted ways of thinking. But for people with anxiety, If youre someone who overthinks, and its impacting your life in a negative way, there are things you can do that help. I spend so much time trying to calculate all the pros and cons of any decision. Here are 20 sample texts to choose from the next time you need to comfort someone whos feeling anxious. Some disorders that are associated with overthinking include: Overthinking can have a bidirectional relationship with mental health issues. However, it can often play a role in the development and maintenance of several mental health conditions. Shed also overanalyze what people said to her, always questioning whether a negative intention was meant. When people are "too much in their head," this signifies over-engagement with unwanted thoughts. Overanalyzing peoples facial expressions and body language, feeling that my conversation is boring them. Donna S. Analyzing their every little facial micro-expression, let alone any minute change in their vocal inflection. Ursula A. Any negative, unwanted thought triggered an agonizing process of self-analysis. I have notebooks and notes everywhere for everything. , we consulted with the wonderful overthinkers. Then direct. "Your family is lucky to have you through all this." Like I always get the same meal at a restaurant because experience has taught me I dont regret that choice. , I end up canceling plans, whether its plans with someone or plans I made for myself only, because I keep thinking something horrible is going to happen, or that the people I was supposed to hang out with hate me and just made plans with me out of pity. 20. This form of overthinking happens when you base a rule or expectation for the future on a single or random event from the past. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. That just madethe overthinking worse. , Asking my husband 100 times a day if hes really happy with me even though he tells me 101 times a day that he is very happy with me. , I get distant like Im not fully there. Read our, Speak to a Therapist for Stress Management. Consider a young woman well call Jessica. This is an example of empowering with empathy, Potter says. Just be sure that you are never accusatory (use the old "I" statements) and always compassionate, as your goal is to get them to open up, not shut down. The goal is to remind them of their own resilience and strength. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. I take the smallest change in tone or facial expression as a sign they dont like me or are annoyed with me. They may be able to help you organize your thought process into something a bit more productive. This normalizes discussing your feelings and can make them feel more comfortable opening up about their own mental health, Sara Sharnoff Tick, MS, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. You tell yourself the problem must be some aspect of you, like you're too fussy or. To cope with that Ive tried to give myself the same choice and make the same decision. Taking time to breathe out through the mouth is a helpful way to slow down one's central nervous system, Michelle Pargman, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor, tells Bustle. This response mostly has to do with the lack of noise and distractions in natural settings, as well as the ability for some people to quell their negative thoughts and appreciate something larger than themselves in their surroundings. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Talking in too much detail and then feeling embarrassed about how long Ive been talking for. , Asking for constant reassurance on matters that may not bother an ordinary person and also overexplaining things to people (as in giving too many details in an attempt to make sense). , Always asking for reassurance. Fighting obsessive and irrational thoughts with logic is one of the most effective strategies for how to stop overthinking when talking to someone. Do you have a low tolerance for spontaneous, unwanted thoughts? According to Dr. Forshee, your body is able to pick up on when your mind is experiencing distress, and will ultimately start to react physiologically. Ill just stare off into space. 8 Words or Phrases to Avoid When You're Trying to Project Confidence. Here are several truths to realize: You're only human. I will not let my imagination plant improbable futures into my mind. | Because your mind is always telling you different stories every minute. Its easy for anyone to get caught up in overthinking. Be grateful for the good things your partner does for you and try not to focus on the small things he or she doesn't do, says Ziegler. 4. Here are 10 examples of the best weaknesses to mention in a job interview: 1. This is often confused with "toxic positivity," which asks people to think positively no matter how . You've been poisoned. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. You spend six hours of an eight hour work day complaining to different friends on G-Chat about this girl you brought home last night but . Did this person recently experience something particularly anxiety-inducing, like a job interview, family get-together, or even something smaller, like a tough phone call? If youre able to get out in nature, even better. "People can feel frustrated, angry, or misunderstood when someone tells them to calm down because it's like they're saying, 'You shouldn't feel that way,' or 'Your feelings don't count,'" Dr.. Finding a way to break out of this cycle can often help relieve some symptoms of these conditions. I spend so much time trying to calculate all the pros and cons of any decision. Its easy to convince yourself that ruminating and worrying over things is somehow helpful. If they noticed I just give a, Sorry I spaced, you were saying..? And hope they keep going without asking questions. Jennifer K. I become more distant thanI usually am, stare off into space, draw blanks, stutter when someone asks me something, etc. "If you want, I'd love to hear more about [Name].". On top of it, I struggle with OCD, too. Fanyy F. I jump to conclusions. Are you easily aware of what youre thinking at any given moment? You might try to convince yourself that thinking longer and harder helps you. In fact, overthinking can kill the joy of dating, meeting new people and enjoying what the current moment has to offer. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. Overthinking can be a hard habit to break. "Thinking too much": A systematic review of a common idiom of distress. And when we overanalyze negative, intrusive thoughts, we can end up anxious, depressed, frustrated, and guilt-ridden. LinkedIn/Facebook Image: fizkes/Shutterstock. Plan. Psalm 94:19 says, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.". There are two dangers to this. It also communicates that theyre not the only one who might benefit from something like meditation, Potter says, because you are practicing it as well.. People often come in for their appointments saying things like, "I can't relax. Anytime I think about calling for an appointment, I feel stressed. Andrea G. Im indecisive. Bursting into tears because Ive gone from zero to 60 in 10 seconds and have just imagined the worst case scenario that I cant imagine dealing with. , Ill constantly criticize how I do things, say wiping a bench or something. Makes people feel weird and random, but probably not as weird as I feel having to say sorry without even knowing why. Marika K. I put off necessary things like medical appointments, because I overthink whether its important enough or not. Even though excessive thinking might harm mental health, it may be controlled with the right methods. When the brain is at rest, the areas that light up are the problem solving areas and areas associated with self-referential thinking. Rufus Tony Spann is a nationally certified school psychologist and licensed professional counselor based in Washington, D.C. She's contributed to Women's Health, Marie Claire, Shape, Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Refinery29, POPSUGAR, Glamour and more. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 4. 1 Janeck, A.S. Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation. Too much thinking about thinking? Or away from the house for a few hours. Kristy G. I have to know times and dates for things months in advance. Overthinking is also different from self-reflection. You might even convince yourself that thinking about something for a really long time is the key to developing the best solution. Overthinking may be a symptom of a mental health issue, like depression or anxiety. Dr. Katie Davis, a clinical neuropsychologist, told Business Insider that creativity is a definitive sign of intelligence because it requires thinking flexibly/outside the box . Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression. Also, because anxiety is so tiring and overwhelming, keep in mind that your partner, family member, or friend might not text back right away. But, when youre overthinking, you might find yourself replaying a conversation in your head repeatedly or imagining something bad happening many times. When it comes to thinking about a problem, balance is the key Smith-Acua, says. Regaining mental health and wellbeing is attainable with the appropriate methods. You're creative. Think of all the positive outcomes in life that could (and have) happened. 2 Clark, D. A. By Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief Instead of looking at both the good and the bad, you might analyze an event only in terms of it being a total success or a total failure. Other ways to connect with your body include moving to music or hitting the gym. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Do you often question why you are having certain thoughts? Do you find yourself caught in a distressing cycle of overanalyzing your thoughts? Since thoughts can be focused on many different things, research has generally differentiated between "rumination" about the past and present, and "worry" about the future. Your brain may find better ways to work out a solution in the background while youre distracted with another tasklike working in the garden. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (NLT). Anxiety can be an isolating experience, Carrie Potter, LMHCA, a therapist who specializes in anxiety, tells Bustle, which is why reaching out is often comforting and connecting.. Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness. Always asking for reassurance. Why Am I Having Racing Thoughts at Night? Makes people feel weird and random, but probably not as weird as I feel having to say sorry without even knowing why. , I put off necessary things like medical appointments, because I overthink whether its important enough or not.