He thanked "Tut and Gramps," his nicknames for Madelyn and Stanley Dunham, but didn't mention his faraway mother. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. But we didnt really become good friends until the seventh grade. Obama, the son of a black father and white mother, stood out. If someone is brown, they can be Samoan or Fijian or Tongan. Alan Lum, who later would coach the basketball team at Punahou as well as teach elementary school there, recalled Obama as always being the first to confront coaches when he felt they were not fairly allotting playing time. We played a lot of playground ball.. Although their paths have long since diverged, they've made it a point to gather for frequent reunions, in one of Obama's most visible links to the days when his life was much simpler and his problems more mundane. "One of us said that being the different guys in the room had awakened a little bit of empathy to what he must feel all the time at school. As a result, the handful of black students at Punahou informally banded together. As he had at the old school, Obama sat in a back corner. John F. Kennedy had his band of brothers from wartime. Since 1995, Kakugawa has spent more than 7 years in California prisons and months in Los Angeles County Jail on cocaine and auto theft charges. He took out (Osama) Bin Laden. "I don't imagine the decision to let him stay behind was an easy one for anyone," Soetoro-Ng said. It was hard to imagine that he felt that way, because he just seemed happy all the time, smiling all the time, she said. Hawaii had become a state only two years before Obama's birth, and there were plenty of native Hawaiians still deeply unhappy about it. 'It was a really fun, happy time,' she said. Obama, who has talked and written so much about struggling to find a sense of belonging due to his mixed race, brushes over this time of his life in "Dreams." IE 11 is not supported. Of course, Obama embraced the image of the athlete, dribbling a ball to school and between classes. Life without a father It was a complicated time. It remains a refuge for me when I travel there during the winter, my family and I, and see friends from high school.. Those are qualities a president should have. One of those friends, Neil Abercrombie, then a graduate student in the sociology department, frequently would see young Obama around town with his grandfather Stanley, whom Obama called "Gramps." Basketball was a refuge, a place where I made a lot of my closest friends, and picked up a lot of my sense of competition and fair play, he said. If Obama did show flashes of anger or hurt, according to friends and teammates, it sprang from his lack of minutes on the basketball court more than his angst as a young black man in a multiracial society. In his best-selling autobiography, "Dreams from My Father," Obama describes having heated conversations about racism with another black student, "Ray." We get together for golf, he said. He showed leadership and caring for his teammates, McLachlin said. You had three part-Hawaiians, one Filipino and me., But Hale said he is still enjoying the novelty of a famous classmate. His character, the way he conducts himself, thats always been his footprint. The U.S. military was expanding on the island of Oahu, home to the new capital of Honolulu. They agreed to rendezvous in Hawaii every year for the holidays, and their reunions became regular even as Mr. Obama was busy climbing to senator and president, a path none of them imagined nearly four decades ago and 5,000 miles from Washington. "I did say we were playing in their world," he explained, "but that had nothing to do with race. On his senior yearbook page, he left behind these words: We go play hoop.. When asked about the discrepancy, Obama said in a recent interview, "It might have been an Ebony or it might have been who knows what it was?" Obamas family is already insulating itself. Those of us who were black did feel isolated--there's no question about that." He then wrote down his number, encouraging Allman to give him a call, and signed off 'Barry Obama'. Vanity Fair is coming soon. They're not his wife and daughters, who came with him, but a trio of pals whose friendship dates back to Obama's high school days in Hawaii. I remember when we were seniors in high school, somebody said Barry would be on the Supreme Court, he said. The foursome, according to the Associated Press, teed off with another eight players. Some, like Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan, counted later acquaintances among political donors as friends. Barack in the Student Life section of Punahou Schools yearbook. The Los Angeles Times weighed in the other day. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. The night, Obama later wrote, made him furious as he realized that whites held a "fundamental power" over blacks. Once content to join their parents for outings to the aquarium or to get shave ice, Sasha and Malia are now more independent. Hawaii friends Bobby Titcomb and Greg Orme, Punahou Academy classmates, were also on hand. Back in 1979 he was known as Barry and he had a beef with his basketball coach. Though Orme spent most afternoons with Obama and considered him one of his closest friends, he said Obama never brought up issues of race, never talked about feeling out of place at Punahou. He said that of the three, only Mr. Orme, another Punahou hoops player, was in the gang that Mr. Obama described. College would be his next stop. In another passage from the book, Ray complains that white Punahou girls don't want to date black guys and that he and Obama don't get enough playing time as athletes, speculating that they'd be "treated different if we was white. Wed drive around in my van listening to Earth, Wind & Fire and looking for places to play, he said. Genevieve Cook, an elementary school teacher, and Obama met at a Christmas party in the East Village in 1983. She became estranged from her husband, Barack Obama Sr., after his departure for Harvard and rarely saw the group of friends that they had made at the University of Hawaii. In the second term, presidents have often sought refuge from the pressure by disappearing into nature to fish or hunt, said Douglas Brinkley, a presidential historian at Rice University. According to the book, the characters representing Orme and the other friend asked to leave the party after just an hour, saying they felt out of place. President-elect Barack Obama and friend Greg Orme wait to warm up on the driving range to play golf with friends December 29, 2008 in Kailua, Hawaii.. President-elect Barack Obama hugs friend Greg Orme before a round of golf December 29, 2008 at the Mid Pacific Country Club in Kailua, Hawaii. The Obamas did skip Hawaii in 2007 and instead the friends joined Mr. Obama in wintry Iowa for the January 2008 presidential caucuses. But Kakugawa, a convicted drug felon, said Saturday that he had never been the "prototypical angry black guy" that Obama portrays. Obama's motorcade left his Kailua vacation rental home at 10:48 a.m. under partly cloudy skies. But Kakugawa, in the interview Saturday, said Obama's recollection of that conversation was mistaken. Since arriving more than a week ago, Obama has been out in public with one of his daughters only once, briefly, during a hike. Obama played basketball at Punahou with Orme, who the alumni magazine says is now a building contractor. And he frequently made peace--even allies--with the very people who angered him most. Others almost certainly illustrate how carefully the young man guarded the secret of his loneliness from even those who knew him best. They were. And on Tuesday, in what's become a yearly tradition, the men and their families gathered for a luau hosted by Titcomb. "And we were told he had already moved away." He was a good player inside and out, Orme recalled. Meanwhile, the search continues for Obamas closest high school friends -- the self-proclaimed Basketball Jones, who raced around the island in Darin Maurers two-toned beige VW van with the band Earth, Wind and Fire blaring from the cassette deck. Last year, a book delved into his teenage years and claimed that Obama and his friends formed The Choom Gang - slang for smoking marijuana - in which he invented inhaling techniques and rode a car called the Choomwagon. Likewise for Mr. Obama, it seems. "He challenged the coaches.. There are, however, chapters in Obamas high school narrative that are not subject to dispute. The Obamas attended a luau on Oahu's North Shore at the home of the president's childhood friend Bobby Titcomb, spending more than six hours at the gathering. KAILUA, HI - DECEMBER 29: (AFP OUT) U.S. President-elect Barack Obama and friend Greg Orme (R) wait to warm up on the driving range to play golf with friends December 29, 2008 in Kailua, Hawaii. Obama spent the weekend in California after meeting Friday at a resort with Jordan's king. But any struggles he was experiencing were obscured by the fact that he had a racially diverse group of friends--many of whom often would crowd into his grandparents' apartment, near Punahou, after school let out. The annual gatherings perhaps speak to Mr. Obamas greater need for their connection now that he has what is called the loneliest job in the world. Most of his teachers and friends express sorrow that they did not know of Obamas racial anguish or inner demons. Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy. ", We would be like, Hey lets go to the beach, Bendix recalled. It was also how he wanted to be remembered. Oblivious to all of this was a perpetually smiling toddler the entire family called Barry. If this story is eight paragraphs, seven of them go to Greg. Obama and his family have . If you look at our teams, that year I was the only white guy on the starting five. Outside of their regular vacation activities, the First Couple (along with Vice President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden) released their holiday playlists. "His friends called him `Negro,' " Darmawan said. Barack Obama as a baby. Topolinski, who now lives in Washington state, said he lost touch with Obama after high school and they moved into different political camps. 'We had great vibes between us.'. In a May 21, 2008 Sports Illustrated interview, Obama spoke of the importance of basketball in his life. I loved his game," he said. But the reality of Obama's narrative is not that simple. These previously unpublished photos, obtained exclusively by TIME from Obama's schoolmate Kelli Allman (ne McCormack), show a 17-year-old Barack Obama on the night of his senior prom.. IE 11 is not supported. These previously unpublished photos, obtained exclusively by TIME from Obamas schoolmate Kelli Allman (ne McCormack), show a 17-year-old Barack Obama on the night of his senior prom. Right around then, we really started getting into basketball., Obama was all business when it came to "the game. She also shared a complimentary note that Obama had written in her high school yearbook. It was a really fun, happy time. But one word Obama learned quickly in his new home was curang, which means "cheater." Topolinski laughed when he recalled how they both tried out for the schools football team. Now they mainly just golf more than 30 hours in six outings this vacation and trash-talk, just like in the old days. One day while visiting his mother, who was working at the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta, Obama passed time by looking through several issues of Life magazine. Obama recounts taking two white friends, including Orme, to a party attended almost entirely by African-Americans. Maybe we could have helped him. Yet those who knew him disputed that during recent interviews. As it made its way over the mountain pass, he took in views of the lush, green and misty Koolau mountains. But I was pretty wrapped up in my own world back then.. Hed tell us to move on if we got into it with another player. Obama wasn't shy about advocating for himself and his fellow backup players, Lum said. "Looking back now, I'd say he really is kind of the perfect combination of all of them," said his half sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng. In Hawaii, our diversity defines us, it doesnt divide us, said Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii), a close friend of Obamas father in graduate school in the early 60s. If young Obama had struggled to find a place at Punahou, it was well hidden on this day as well. Or f------ Eskimo." "We were champions and I think it helped him become the man he is today. The sailboat the Manu Kai (bird of the sea, in English) is about to set sail behind him. They were like brothers, says Allman. Bobby Titcomb Photos Photos - US President Barack Obama repares to putt on the 18th green as friend Greg Orme retrieves his ball and Darell Harrington (2nd R) and Bobby Titcomb (R) look on at the . In the early 1970s, diplomats and Indonesian businessmen lived there in fancy gated houses with wide paved roads and sculpted bushes. When his mother, a woman said to have been born with a keen sense of wanderlust, announced she was returning to Indonesia, Obama, then a teenager, asked to stay in Hawaii, according to Soetoro-Ng, 36, who still lives in Honolulu. But it was on the court in the off-season that Obama seemed to be even happier. I saw an old forgotten man/On an old, forgotten road, begins the 12-line poem. Thats what we did to fit in, he said. It wasnt until 2008, when Obama was making his first run for president, that they saw each other again at a fundraiser. In snapshots, the boy is a portrait of childhood bliss. They divorced after seven years of marriage and have a daughter. Zulfan Adi was one of the neighborhood kids who teased Obama most mercilessly. You have reached your limit of 4 free articles. I hope we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone.'. He said he does recall long, soulful talks with the young Obama and that his friend confided his longing and loneliness. The reality was less tidy. Another story put forth in "Dreams" as one of Obama's pivotal moments of racial awakening checks out essentially as he wrote it. I brood, Mr. Obamas friend Mr. Ramos said a few years ago. (Courtesy Maya Soetoro-Ng ), The life stories, when the presidential candidate tells them, have a common theme: the quest to belong. Many of the men were black. He'd pick them up if they fell down,'' Darmawan recalled. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Ramos is most often referred to in stories about his relations with the president as a businessman. Their Jakarta neighborhood resembled a village more than the bustling metropolis the city is today. So far, it has been a narrative spun almost entirely on Obamas terms and in his own words -- most prominently in his bestselling memoir, Dreams From My Father.. Mr. Ramos was a year ahead of Mr. Obamas Punahou class of 79, but played with him on the basketball team. In 2011, he pleaded no contest to soliciting a prostitute, but Obama has stayed fiercely loyal to his childhood friend. "He'd go right up to the coach during a game and say, `Coach, we're killing this team. The attention on Obamas time at Punahou -- a country club campus with nine tennis courts, an Olympic-size pool and an endowment of $180 million -- represents the next important challenge for a celebrity politician who leapt onto the national stage with a few swift strides. Hes been so gracious to him.. WASHINGTON President Obama has called Hawaii his refuge, and so it has been throughout his political life. Cook, who was 25, and Obama, then 22, dated for 18 months, passing their time discussing books and cooking. He said Obama may have come across as easy going, but he was no pushover. Far less is known about Obama's buddies, of course, than about the president himself. The man is staggering and numb but eventually pulls out forgotten dignity from under his flaking coat,/And walks a straight line along the crooked world.. Because of his biracial heritage, he said, he was "like everyone in Hawaii, a mix of a lot of things." Speaking up for yourself., I gave them more playing time, McLachlin chuckled. The handful of black students who attended Punahou School in Hawaii, for instance, say they struggled mightily with issues of race and racism there. McCormack - now Kelli Allman - told TIME that the group sipped champagne before enjoying an evening of photos, dinner and dancing. In a new introduction to the reissued edition of "Dreams," he noted that the dangers of writing an autobiography included "the temptation to color events in ways favorable to the writer [and] selective lapses of memory." Bush remained pals with men he served with in World War II. One of the neatest things is that he has promoted family, he said. I cant tell if someone is Fijian or black.. He attended a college basketball game with the first family the next day, and this week he and his wife hosted their annual barbecue for the other families, including those of the Obamas Chicago friends Eric Whitaker and Marty Nesbitt. And when tempers flared, Barry was the peacemaker. That first year, Mr. Ramos said, I remember coming home from a golf outing and literally starting to cry, so emotional was the contrast he felt between their friendships and the transactional ones he said he had since formed as a businessman. Obama has claimed on numerous occasions to have become fluent in Indonesian in six months. ---------- Kirsten Scharnberg reported from Honolulu and Kim Barker from Jakarta, Indonesia; Tribune staff reporter Ray Gibson contributed to this report. We were all cracking up, and everyone was smiling, says Allman. But twice that year the group gathered in Hawaii in August before the Democratic National Convention and in December after Mr. Obamas election. For the past two weeks, he has been recharging on Oahu after an unpleasant year in the job. You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes!. As the president's motorcade left the golf course at 3:58 p.m . Mr. Titcomb was golfing with the president within hours of the Obamas Dec. 21 arrival on Oahu. In a striking snapshot with his grandparents, Stanley smiles proudly while Madelyn hugs him fiercely, as though she doesn't want to let him go forth into a world far from the remote island that for so long had been his home. In the book, Obama discusses race and racism at his high school with one other Punahou student, "Ray,'' the young black man described in detail in "Dreams" as perpetually angry at the white world around him. In one family photo before the mother and son moved to Indonesia, Obama walks barefoot on Waikiki Beach, arms outstretched as though embracing the entire beautiful life around him. And a young, iconoclastic white woman who had defied the social mores of the day by marrying a dashing black man from Kenya was coping with the fact that her new husband essentially had abandoned her and their young child in 1963 to study at Harvard.